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| sightings meet: Selim from the spiritual director from the web editor |
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The issues of commitment and
forgiveness have come up strongly for me personally and for our
residents’
group recently. In fact, this inspired
me to make “Commitment and Forgiveness” the topic of my monthly talk at
the
Unitarian Universalit Fellowship here in Dr. Lewis B. Smedes, author and Professor Emeritus of Theology and Ethics at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, CA, writing in “Making and Keeping Commitments”, indicates three good reasons why people keep commitments: (1) because they care about the people they are committed to; (2) because they feel that they belong to the people they are committed to; (3) because a commitment made is like a birth into another stage of their selfhood. All three of these reasons come into the commitments we make to each other as members of the Southwest Sufi Community. We do care about each other, and the more we eat, dance, pray, and work together, the more this caring grows and matures. And we do have a sense of belonging: to the SSC, to the larger Sufi community, and to the human community, and thus, I would say, also to each other. It’s a feeling of family. And then there’s the third one, more mysterious somehow, and even more in the nature of spiritual community, that of being born into another stage of selfhood in making and keeping commitments. For me, this one is what intentional spiritual community is all about. In learning to care, to be committed, to working through the hard places together, we ARE born into a deeper/higher level of self. In Sufi terms, we move into a new makam, or long-term state of being. So commitment is deeply important. But there are times when we fail to keep our commitments. We forget. We find it too difficult. We lose touch with the underlying reason for the commitment. Or perhaps the commitment itself needs to be looked at to see if it’s still truly appropriate for us, individually and collectively. When this happens, someone or some ones feel hurt, angry, frustrated, disappointed, abandoned, perhaps all of these. Can we forgive? Should we forgive, when commitments are broken? What’s essential is that we begin by talking about it, hearing, deeply listening to, all points of view and all feelings. Out of such a process of sharing of minds and hearts, forgiveness results, Insh’Allah. Presumably if it were to become clear that someone really was not committed to the community and its members at all, and broke commitments out of a lack of interest and caring, then there would be decisions and changes to be made. But even then, hopefully, forgiveness would always be a part of the process. For those of us who continue to choose to be in community, and consciously commit to being part of the process, through good times and hard times, all the blessings increase. Love deepens, compassion widens, forgiveness is like the outbreath that follows the inbreath. I am deeply grateful for all of it. |
 What are these people building? On this particular (stormy!) day at the end of April they're working on a pole-shed-place-to-live-in-progress for me. Azima, Rashad, Krishna Paul and Patty lending their hands, hearts and knowhow for this step towards the embodiment of our 'rural residential community.' I look forward to helping with their houses, soon. And, as Rashad says, "It's not about a place to live." What we're really helping to build is the SSC, Kankha Nur Inayat, a place of refuge, a retreat center, an inclusive spiritual community. All of that. Aren't these the very same people I've often infuriated, disappointed, bored senseless and otherwise let down? Yes, they are. And they've done the same for me. Moineddin wrote, "As we prepare to come together for this experience in wholistic living, remember that we are living in a time of rapid change and intensive growth – a process which brings out the worst and best in each one of us. Everywhere people are challenged to stick to their ideals in a world of fearful emotions which too often lead to abusive words and violent acts, even in our own homes. Our work is to root out these imbalances in ourselves, so that our hearts can become havens of safety, peace and refuge for each other. Practicing thus, we develop individual spiritual capacities which, when transposed to the level of intentional community, create greater potential for harmlessness, compassion and loving-kindness to arise planet-wide." That's what we're building. I'm more grateful than I can say to be part of this work. What I can say is: you -- yes, you -- are welcome to come and see what your part in this good work might be. Love to all, Hayra Nur |
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"Now I know I'm home," said Rashad, the day he came down to the
Homestead for a hot shower and found Qadir puzzling over why the stove
he was trying to remove from the kitchen wouldn't come out. Surprise.
It was hard plumbed onto the gas line. They fixed everything with no
explosion. "Now I really need that shower."
Before camps and retreats -- cleanup. Patty prepares the outhouses. Krishna Paul scrubs down the kitchen porch.
